Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Looking into the world wide web(www.) and SEEING through your heart.


  "See truth with your heart"                         

There is a viral email spreading through the internet with an excerpt from Nonie Darwish's The Joys of Muslim Women. (The article can also be found at this link: http://www.sodahead.com/united-states/joys-of-muslim-women/blog-183834/)

The email begins with the introduction line....

"Remember to tell your children, even from a young age, never to marry a Muslim.  Don't take it for granted...  "

It goes on to read a frightful list of Shariah laws citing how a Muslim man is allowed to purchase a wife as a 'toy', have sexual intimacy (from age 1) and beat her up at will amongst other atrocities. There is also the horrifying account of how if a woman is raped, parents have the right to execute her in order to restore honor.

I continued reading the article. And whilst I was half nauseous from the thought that such laws exist, I became disconcerted by the writer's prejudicial stance against ALL Muslims. I have a handful of Muslim friends from Australia, Malaysia, Singapore & Indonesia and in my travels met a number of acquaintances from as far as Oman and Abu Dhabi in the Middle East. It will be an awful injustice to suggest that a girl should not marry any one of them for the aforementioned reasons.

For someone like me who has endearingly grown up with Muslim childhood friends around me, the excerpt came across as the ramblings of a woman with a boxed-up phobia against the muslims. Don't get me wrong. I can totally imagine the validity of her statements under the conditions of strict Middle Eastern rules in particular parts. However what I am concerned with, is how extreme her viewpoints may be if taken out of context... for example in a Australian/Singaporean conditioning where the Shariah law(or Nonie Darwish's version) isn't applicable. 

One of the absurd questions that comes straight to mind is...  Should ALL women(even those protected by the civil law of modern society in western(ized) countries) who are potentially marrying a (Singaporean/Australian)Muslim man be afraid of being EXECUTED in the event of dishonor? What's more disturbing is that the intro line in the email version, "remember to tell your children.. never to marry a Muslim" seems to lean dangerously upon bigotry. Perhaps in the right context of the writer's personal history, it all makes sense. However, as it stands, the excerpt comes across as an outright persecution of all Muslims and is likely to encourage unjust prejudice amongst mankind's brotherhood. This is something that the world does not need... like tales of wolves eating up children in the dark... and telling your children that the boogeyman will get them if they misbehave.. I would hesitate to use fear as a tool for protection, as history has proven that the instillation of fear(often when unadulterated as in this case) in an individual or society can perpetuate fearful behavior beyond control/understanding to the core of society itself!

I agree that we should be educated about the dangers of the world, but as with any good education there must be an equal view from both sides of the coins. It is acceptable to educate the truth in gradual steps given that the educator have undertaken the oath to see it through to its full understanding. However, any generic once-off email like this which begins and ends with one side of the argument must be questioned of its integrity.

Ask yourself... What is the motive in the written piece? Who is Nonie Darwish and are these truly her exact words that you read here in this excerpt? (I have searched the internet and have yet to find the origins of this piece of writing or even one with the malicious introduction line attached.) If they are indeed her complete words,  given that her credibility is sound, then what are the circumstances in which her words were written? Does it apply in your state and situation? Consider all these carefully before going on a witch-hunt with the irrepressible forward button.

In this era of progressive technological advancement, when an individual is sold so much information at such a dazzling, blinding rate one must choose and discern intelligently sifting out what is and isn't good for the spirit. We simply cannot accept everything that we read as absolute.

Look real close. Things are usually not what it looks on the surface.

For example, take a moment and ask yourselves what this article is about. Is it about Nonie Darwish? Is it about Muslims? Given the amount of reference there is to Darwish and Muslims, the perspective you would tend to accept is that, this is an article about my disdain towards Nonie Darwish and her views on Shariah laws and Muslim men in general.

But those of you who look closely enough will realize that the subtext, as the title suggests, is about how one's reality can be influenced by perspective.

Let me demonstrate further by asking you this. What were you doing earlier before you started reading this article? Just before you logged on to the internet...

If you start to think about it... you will probably begin to see that you have been completely distracted from the reason why you logged onto the internet.  I bet just a moment ago, when you came online to surf the net or check your emails, you weren't looking forward to pondering over the cruelty of Shariah laws against Muslim women, let alone expecting to be told that you are being led by my words!

Ah! Now that you get what I mean...  you will see that not every random detail you read, see or hear is exactly what your reality has to be. So what can we do? I say, stay sharp! Be on the lookout for intrusive perspectives, then discern and choose the perspective that aligns with all the love you feel from your heart! After all, it is your reality! Whatever it is, just don't believe everything you read blindly.

Anyways, before I go back to enjoy that email I am expecting from my sweet sweet mother, I would like to remind anybody who cares enough to forward me an 'educational' email, to take a closer scrutiny of the pretext in the material and how it may effect the next person before hitting the forward button.  Either that or attach it with the above message along with it or something to this effect.

And as for salvation from diving into a bad marriage, I have no advice other than to pray earnestly and ask for guidance in each decision that we make in life... to whomever your gods are, or what you perceive it to be... a higher power, the greater good, love, Jesus, Muhammad or Buddha. If we truly seek, somewhere deep within our hearts we will know how to love another, Muslim or otherwise... or at least we know from how we truly want to be loved, embraced and be treated with honesty and kindness.

Friday, May 7, 2010

© S-leap! Think of it as the SUPER LEAP to success!



This is especially for Irianto (How I envy those who doesn't have sleeping problems.)
and all those of you who suffers some form of insomnia at various points of your lives.

Try jotting down your thoughts often and spend some time sorting it out into categories. Then focus on clearing your utmost priorities one by one to that of least importance... Clearing your preoccupations systematically is what helps cure insomnia in the long run. Don't forget to include simple priorities like proper food and regular water intake throughout the day(This helps immensely with sleeping well too!). Most people only focus on work activities and it drives them to the grave. .

Now, the other advantage of jotting things down is that it helps you in letting go. Knowing that your thoughts are on paper for you to refer to later, clears your head from having to hold on to it during sleep... This is what will help you sleep better instantly.

On a last note, the most important factor in curing insomnia is mindset. You have to want to sleep! Those of you who think that sleep is a waste of time, consider this... good sleep gives you focus on your daily tasks at hand, resulting in efficiency thus saving you time that you can use on more sleep!!! So, don't say you don't have time to sleep! Think of it as S-LEAP(the SUPER-LEAP to success!!!) The more you sleep, the more successful you'll be... it all balances up in the end!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Not too happy today...:(



 



Balance. This is one of the keys to success often undermined by those reaching for their highest potentials. It is disconcerting that so many people with great skills, diligence and good intentions fail due to their lack of observation in the yin and yang of nature.

Just today, I was surfing the musician union's website when I came across an interesting article on balance. It reminded me of the staggering number of people I know who allude to this practice in our hurried lifestyle while struggling to get their head around things. So, for those of you seeking happiness in the real world, let me start by reassuring you that the practice of balance is not reserved for illusive zen masters in a barren land.

We are all destined for great things and as we evolve into better understanding of that greatness, we will be reminded of the fundamental truth that even the best of us are often not immune to being off-balanced on every odd day or so. Thus, if you find yourselves feeling a bit under the weather every now and then, just hang in there.

Even when I think back on those lousy mornings, swamped and pathetically incapable of peeling my body off the mattress, as I lay sprawled in my dreams in search of higher incentives to do so... nostalgia plays it's weight upon me. Though effectively, I manage to resist entertaining that sinking feeling with a perky little one-liner that Candy and I made-up once, to remind ourselves to get on top. It goes like this:


"If people do not feel robbed of their enjoyment in life, they will utterly refuse to be kept on the curb."


Incredibly, most times staying upbeat is just about remembering the enjoyable things in life. The reality for most is that life is never ALL that bad. It's just that some days we wake up clouded with heavy thoughts on one particular area of our life and it precariously spirals us into a succession of blue Mondays. Other days we wake with a happy thought; a sudden stroke of appreciation for a certain discovery or an old obsession.. and all at once everything is hunky dory for days on end.

So, if you ever find yourself victimize by one of these seemingly unpredictable lows of nature, the first thing you can do to stop this from happening is to simply zoom out and look at the bigger picture of your life.


             +   zoom out   +



What you'll see is that, it's just an emotional feeling(usually of one imbalance area of your entire life) right at this moment that is spiraling you downwards. You will start to see that this one heavy roadblock blinds you to many other areas of your life that has accumulated great value. You will also notice how this gives the illusion that everything seem so unbearable right now.

I am not suggesting that you ignore the problematic area and I cannot stress enough about the priority of finding some kind of resolution to amend it...

But the idea here, is by first zooming out to focus on other areas of your life where you have had success with, this will defiantly give you a quick lift, infusing you with the energy and faith to overcome your current roadblock.

See where this problem area lies in the context of your entire life-map! This will lessen the magnification of it's intensity and make it easier to go forth and find solutions for that mere little thorn in your side.

Ultimately, a balance view of your life in general will greatly increase your confidence in tackling specific little areas. It will also speed you up to effective problem solving, a quality which makes for great leadership.

So, make sure you take a good look at where you fair well in your life before you tackle the imbalance areas that need your immediate attention! This way you'll be feeling all tip top and ready to go to war each day. (Solving imbalanced areas would be a whole new topic but for now here's a tip:- googling the right words to the problem areas of your life will lead to many ideas and feedback from others that will enable you to form a personal solution.)

Peace - Colorful Blac